Book lovers...

I've worked at some of Toronto's finest bookstore: Chapters, Pages (of Queen West), U of T Bookstore. And no matter where I have worked I always get the same couple of questions. The following answers are how I wished I could have replied.

1) Have you read this? (Pointing to a random book.)

Me: No, I have not read every book in this store. I have probably read more than you but there is only so much time in the day.

1a) Why haven't you read this book, I thought you worked in a bookstore?

Me: Because when I work at the bookstore I'm not allowed to read on the job. All the other times I am probably reading but again, there is only so much time.

2) I'm looking for a book….

Me: Great! Well, you have come to the right place! Because we are fresh out of bananas. Now, can you give me a little more? A title, author, genre, anything?! At Chapters we had a table with only red books on it because so many people would come in with no other defining information other than the book being red.

3) Where's your non-fiction section?

Me: See the wall of fiction? Now, see everything else? The everything-else is our non-fiction section. Be more specific.

4) What's a good book?

Me: What I find "good" and what you like may not necessarily mesh. What kind of books do you like? Fiction, graphic novels, the dreaded non-fiction: self-help books, biographies, business books, cultural studies, the list is endless.

5) (after giving endless recommendations, discussing 'good' books, comparing notes) Thanks I think I'll just go home and order this online. Bye.

Me: (exploding) Why?!

So the next time you have a question at a bookstore please be kind. And please support your local indie bookstores.

For more hilarious customer questions/comments at a bookstore make sure to check out the book, Weird things Customers Say in Bookshops by Jen Campbell. Also make sure to check out her tumblr where she adds new and exciting things customers do in bookshops on a regular basis.

Identity Crisis

“You don’t look Polish,” a family friend once told me. And before I knew how to respond I was thinking to myself – “Is what I look like who I am?”

I am a few inches above 5 feet, solidly built (aka fat), with blonde hair and blue eyes. I forgot to mention, I’m female. I’ve worn glasses since high school when I realized that the blurriness around me was not my way of disengaging with the world. I like to read but I also watch an unhealthy amount of television shows. I’m sure that neither one of those things helps with my vision. When I was 5 years old my parents took me and left Poland altogether. We lived with my grandmother in California where the sunshine made my hair lighter and my temperament brighter. After awhile we settled as a family of four (my brother the American) in Toronto, Canada. In Toronto I discovered that I wasn’t different enough, I blended in too well. But I too was an immigrant.

And so my identity has never been easy to pin point. Am I Canadian? Sure. Am I Polish? Depends on who you ask. Am I an American? Hell, no! Perhaps like my father I am a citizen of the world. Whatever that means?

I’ve heard that you can be whatever you want to be and that you should never let people define you. But it’s easier said then done when those around you seem to be the experts on these things.

What I look like and how I feel don’t exactly go hand in hand. Take for instance my self proclaimed fatness. I know this comes from an age old insecurity and a need to love myself through food. But some days I feel like I could weigh a thousand pounds and that no one could possibly love me for who I am on the inside. (What a cliché!) But there I go again, caring what other people think about me. Those so-called experts! There are people who are fatter than me, of course. And if I really think about where I get the idea of me being too fat I start thinking about advertising and subliminal messaging through media. Maybe in a way I start making excuses. What does it mean to be fat in western culture? It’s a sort of failure, but what then is success?

When I first became aware of transgendered people I had a real identity crisis. I never knew there was an option in terms of your gender?! This blew my mind. Not to say that I’m thinking of changing genders. But my body has never really felt my own and this ‘getting comfortable with who I really am’ was what I thought growing up was meant to do. But there were people out there who were redefining the very essence of their beings. I was truly impressed by their conviction and 100% knowledge of the fact that they knew who they were really meant to be. I don’t think changing my gender would work for me even if I’m not fully comfortable in my female body all the time – I’ve learned to make do with it.

Is “making do” a form of acceptance or defeat? I know I’ll never be tall or skinny even if I did go on some sort of health kick. But I’m ok with my shortness – I like it when people have to strain their necks to have to talk to me. And to some extent I’m ok with the fact that I don’t fit into a size 0 which I have always thought was a ridiculous size to be. A size nothing? I also like challenging pre-conceived notions of what a female should be. Sometimes I find it hard to stick out and go against the grain but that’s part of the fun.

So I can get over the physical parts of who I am and who I should be. But for some reason, what I am on the inside gives me a harder time. Defining my identity and making sure I don’t fall into the hyphenated melting pot of immigration has always been something that interested me greatly. I love to read diasporic literature or the immigrant tale. I’ve always related very well to the self-deprecating Jew even if I myself am not Jewish. And yes, I'm aware that Poles are suppose to be anti-Semites but stereotypes don't always run across the board. 

So maybe looking Polish is a bigger problem for me then I expected. Because it would mean that even though I don’t feel like a true Pole on the inside that at least I was fooling some people on the outside. And I’m not. I’m only fooling myself.

In the Skin of A Lion by Michael Ontaadje

“The joyful will stoop with sorrow, and when you have gone to the earth I will let my hair grow long for your sake, I will wander through the wilderness in the skin of a lion” – The Epic of Gilgamesh

In the Skin of A Lion is a story about stories. It begins with a brief description of a girl in a car being told a story. The reader will often wonder who these people in the car are until they realize that the story they are reading is the same.

This book is also the story of Toronto and her people. The people that helped build her and whose stories are the fabric of its history. From the building of the Bloor Viaduct to the R.C. Harris Water Treatment Plant. The story of Nicholas Temelcof who swung from the unfinished bridge and saved the falling nun was my favorite chapter. The way in which his effortless movements are described and the moment of bodily impact is poetic. I’m not the only one that was moved by this passage as Anne Enright describes in her 2007 Guardian article “The fallen nun” Ondaatje’s prose was what helped her become an author herself.

Patrick, outsider and immigrant from the harsh Canadian countryside, becomes our linking point between all the characters in the novel. And although he links the stories together he “has always been alien, the third person in the picture.” He’s not the hero of this book, he’s the everyday man, the labourer, the stranger in his own land. He’s also the man in the car telling the story.

For me the book is best described as though it were a dream. The characters introduced at random, the plot not in chronological order. Which parts are true and which are “truth”. How much of our story and our city’s story is invented or embellished? Like the painted roof of the prison where we first meet Caravaggio the lines are blurred.

Happy New Year!

For me, the New Year always felt more applicable to the start of each school year. New outfits, books, pens, etc. But not having been in school for a few years I suppose my New Year must commence on January 1st like the rest of the world. And like everyone else, I made some resolutions even though I am not so great at keeping them. So, rather then trying to change everything about myself (diet, exercise) I'm going to attempt to change the things around me.

That's where The January Cure comes in. The folks at Apartment Therapy have put together a plan to help their readers. They "believe that when your home is under control, fresh, clean and organized, good things happen throughout your life." And I couldn't agree more. Those who follow the rules of Feng Shui say that a cluttered home leads to a cluttered mind. 

The first thing to do was make a project list. I walked around the apartment and tried to be critical yet constructive about all the things I saw that needed fixing. And because I could go on forever, I could only list 3-4 things per room and only take about an hour to notice it all. Here's my list:

Kitchen

• wash walls/floor boards
• declutter "dump areas"
• clean oven

Hallway

• wash walls/floor boards
• declutter bags to be recycled or donated

Bedroom

• sort boxes
• build CD/DVD tower and store media
• vacuum under bed

Living Room

• Couch/TV area needs to be better organized
• clean scuff marks off floor
• wash curtains/window

Bathroom

• fix toilet paper dispenser
• under sink clean out

I realized that I could take care a lot of these bullet points by just getting dirty and employing some elbow grease. For some reason my floor boards are filthy and a quick vacuum or wipe down won't do. And since it's a problem in most rooms I can just get 'er done and feel like I've accomplished so much. 

But before I get ahead of myself, the first weekend of The January Cure was to to get flowers, do the floors and get stocked up on green cleaners. Getting flowers during a cold spell in January is tougher then I thought but I understand the appeal and need to brighten things up. Tackling the floors also helps establish a starting point. And each day there is a new assignment but I like the fact that they allow you to catch up if you've missed something or give you time to reflect.

Yesterday's assignment was to Get a Fresh Perspective in Just 10 Minutes!! I sat in my living room by the couch and TV and noticed all the little odds and ends we keep displayed. Perhaps I need to add a display case to my Project List? At least it would help with the overall problem of clutter. 

To be continued… 

Food resolutions

'Tis that time of year when we make great plans for the year ahead. Lose weight, eat better, exercise more… You know the rest. But if I could make just one resolution it would be to plan my meals better. So often I find myself standing in front of the fridge and not knowing what to make or eat. If only I had planned ahead and had lots of veggies. I will definitely eat more vegetables. They are so versatile, not to mention healthy.

But planning ahead takes more than just a fully stocked fridge. It takes knowledge and inspiration. That's where Tamar Adler and her book, An Everlasting Meal comes in. Adler advocates cooking with all parts of your food: bones, peels and the ends of your food. Her thought provoking essays make you want to curl up with a bowl of homemade soup and remember the days when you spent hours in the kitchen. Luckily you won't need hours or a lifetime supply of food. Adler teaches you how to use those more boring of veggies like celery, onions and potatoes. Just don't be fooled, this is not a book of recipes. This is a book on cooking philosophy, if such a thing exists. Check out her videos below and prepare to fall in love like I have.

Tamar Adler preps veggies for the week

Tamar Adler boils water (and I fall in love)

Salad Pt. 1

After the holidays, or after a stretch of binge eating, I crave vegetables.

Here is an amazing salad with a little bit of everything.

You'll need:

2 huge handfuls of baby spinach (don't forget to give it a rinse)
1 Granny Smith apple, sliced into thin strips
as much goat cheese as you think "healthy"
walnuts (or any nut will do) I used a few shakes from the bag
sprouts

Put it all into a large bowl, give it a toss and maybe a drizzle of some balsamic vinegar dressing.

As you can see I don't really use precise measurements when making this salad and that's what makes it all the more fun to make. And delicious.

Enjoy.

Cranberry-Coconut Lemon Squares (my favourites)

Ingredients

• 1-1/2 cups (375 mL) all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup (125 mL) icing sugar
• 2/3 cup (150 mL) cold unsalted butter, cut into chunks
• 3/4 cup (175 mL) all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp (5 mL) baking powder
• 1/4 tsp (1 mL) salt
• 6  eggs
• 2-1/2 cups (625 mL) granulated sugar
• 1 cup (250 mL) freshly squeezed lemon juice, about 3 lemons
• 1-1/2 cups (375 mL) sweetened shredded coconut
• 2 cups (500 mL) whole frozen or fresh cranberries

Instructions

• Preheat oven to 350F (180C). Lightly butter a 9×13-inch (3-L) baking dish or coat with non-stick cooking spray. Place 1-1/2 cups (375 mL) flour and icing sugar in a food processor fitted with a metal blade. Whirl until blended. Add butter. Pulse until crumbs form. Or in a medium-size bowl, stir flour with icing sugar. Using a pastry blender or 2 knives, cut in butter until mixture resembles crumbs. Turn mixture into baking dish. Press evenly over bottom. Bake in centre of 350F (180C) oven until edges are golden-tinged, from 15 to 20 minutes. Remove from oven. Reduce oven temperature to 325F (160C).
• Meanwhile, in a small bowl, using a fork, stir 3/4 cup (175 mL) flour with baking powder and salt. In a large bowl, whisk eggs until blended. Whisk in sugar and lemon juice. Gradually whisk in flour mixture just until blended. Stir in coconut until evenly distributed. Then stir in whole cranberries. If using frozen cranberries, do not defrost.
• Pour mixture over hot baked crust, making sure cranberries are evenly distributed. Bake in centre of 325F (160C) oven until centre is set and edges are deep golden, from 35 to 40 minutes. Remove from oven and cool completely on a rack. Then cut into 2-inch (5-cm) squares. Squares will keep well at room temperature for 1 day. Or cover tightly and refrigerate up to 3 days or freeze up to 1 month.

Nutrition (per Serving)

Protein

3.1 G

Fat

8.5 G

Carbohydrates

36.6 G

Fibre

1 G

Iron

0.8 Mg

Calcium

16 Mg

Calories

230