Dinner Party!

You can tell just how strange of a person I am by looking at my bucket list. I don’t have any of the normal things like skydiving or visiting the Taj Mahal, although I wouldn’t mind the last one. For instance, I would really like to host an epic dinner party. 

When I was a kid my parents often had dinner parties where their guests included artists, writers, fellow professors, etc. I remember the delicious dishes my mother would prepare and the conversations that would last for hours. I learned how heated discussions didn’t necessarily need to end in arguments or grudges. And when I got older my parents told me I didn’t need to sit in on those dinner if I didn’t want to. But as long as I lived with my parents I was more than happy to attend. I served as my mother’s sous chef and learned some great tricks. And although I wasn’t always sure enough of myself to participate in discussions, I soaked it all up like a sponge.

The first couple of places I’ve lived in after moving out of my parents’ home were not big enough to host the kind of dinner parties I dream of. And still my dinner plates don’t all match. But I would like to try my hand at inviting the right mix of people even for a buffet style dinner party. And here are some books that have helped me come that much closer to my goal. 

"Corey Mintz hosts dinner parties in his home every week. Before that he was a restaurant critic. And before that he worked for a living, as a cook. He began hosting without napkins or stemware, serving wine out of Nutella jars. But after entertaining politicians, artists, academics, monkeys, librarians, chefs, sommeliers, cops, lawyers, psychologists, a spy, a forager, a rabbi, a gambler, a drug addict, and a mayor, he's become a pro." Here he is in front of the Type Bookstore window with his book, How to Host a Dinner Party. He's truly an inspiration for us normal folk who don't have a giant dinner table that seats at least 12. His book is also very thorough and reads almost like a manual for those like me who really appreciate the step-by-step guide. 

I saw this book on the Design Sponge website and I have still yet to pick it up but I can't wait! In A Curious Invitation, Suzette Field chronicles forty of the greatest fictional parties from Jane Austen's Mansfield Park to Douglas Adams' flying party above an unknown planet in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Field describes the hosts, venues, guest lists, dress code and what was served at each party. What a great idea to focus on such a minor and, yet to Field -- monumental moment in each novel. 

The Hip Girl's Guide to Homemaking by Kate Payne

The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum
by Kim Izzo and Ceri Marsh.

Ru by Kim Thuy

Ru, a novel by Kim Thuy is the story of Vietnamese boat people thrust upon the foreign shores of Malaysia and then Canada all told through vignettes. Originally written in the French it was translated by Sheila Fischman. Winner of the Governor General’s Literary Award and a finalist for the Giller Prize it is no wonder this book has received so many accolades.

The reader learns the meaning of ru on the first pages of this novel:

“In French, ru means a small stream and, figuratively, a flow, a discharge – of tears, of blood, of money. In Vietnamese, ru means a lullaby, to lull.”

It’s as though these vignettes are memories told by the narrator in an attempt to purge themselves of their past and at the same time to soothe their wounds. Each chapter stands out on its own but is connected to the others as only memories can belong to one another. At times the story makes no sense but that is because the story of our lives are difficult to understand. And ru is the story of the immigrant, the refugee, the child with many histories.

 

“I was born in the shadow of skies adorned with fireworks, decorated with garlands of light, shot through with rockets and missiles. The purpose of my birth was to replace lives that had been lost. My life’s duty was to prolong that of my mother.”

The issue of identity is such an important theme in any immigrant tale but in Thuy’s book it takes on so many tones. The narrator’s relationship with their mother is only one such aspect that is so difficult to broach. Immigrant parents are often overbearing, set high standards and expect their children to lead successful western lives. But when you throw into the mix a longing for one’s past and an expectation that one’s children will honour that past it becomes a different type of identity split.

This is the type of book that makes its readers work for it. A short and simply written book it can be easily overlooked but the reader must recognize the beauty in this simplicity in order to appreciate the bigger story behind it. I encourage all readers to give this book a try.